Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Kitchen Bitchin'

As I type this, there are a multitude of people in our workspace kitchen preparing their lunches. Several of them are busily preparing healthful salads; chopping a variety of fresh, heart-healthy produce just as they do several timea a week. Yet, most of the people I see in our workspace kitchen preparing these supposedly low-calorie, whole food meals are incredibly fat...which leads me to wonder, is it all for show? In other words, are they making a big deal of their healthy lifestyle in public, ie, at work, but in their private lives, at home, are gorging out on Frito Pies, Lil' Debby snack cakes and gallons of Fanta? Or, is their rotundity due to a lack of exercise despite their seemingly smart eating habits? Are they happy looking like hippopotamuses as long as they make a pretense of eating right? And why can't they do all their produce chopping, mincing and serrating at home instead of taking up all the counterspace with their food prep, not to mention hogging all the space in the refrigerators with enough roughage to keep Whole Foods stocked for a week?

Who are they trying to kid?

On a similar theme, people should not be allowed to heat up bacon based meals in public kitchens unless they bring enough bacon for everyone to enjoy. The smell of bacon is maddening, especially to those of us with hideously bad cholesterol who shouldn't be eating it. If I ran an office, I would ban bacon based products, (along with malodorous, usually burnt, microwave popcorn), from the work place kitchen out of consideration for those of us who aren't allowed to indulge in this savory delight.

And, to my kosher friends who've never eaten pork, is the smell of well-cooked bacon a mouth watering olfactory delight, or an exercise in sheer torture, or just a benign odor of unknown quality?

Inquiring minds do want to know...