Friday, January 30, 2009

Time Thief

Facebook is a time thief and I want back the 7 hours I've been on it today.

But, in my defense, I got sucked into looking for old friends and family members and it quickly became an emotional roller coaster. The funniest thing I found was a profile for someone I ended on bad terms with...he had no friends which isn't that surprising since it's difficult to make connections when your boyfriend is/was a male prostitute, but still, it made me howl with delight... More alarmingly, I found way too many people I went to school with, that have grandchildren. Also, most of the men are older, fatter and gayer than when I last saw them. (Yes, GAYER, not grayer; I went to high school/college from 1978 to 1985...the theater/English Lit crowd I hung out with was full of the gay, but it wasn't an era or place (Nebraska) prone to existing outside the closet door, myself included...)

Scariest thing I found was a private profile and picture of the GIRL I had a crush on all the way through grade school...(It was a brain thing; she was the only other literate person in my class). The poor thing is hideously, monstrously unattractive in a "I'm not quite sure of her gender" sort of way...and though it didn't say on her profile, (I couldn't access it unless we were friends), I believe she's had a pretty rough life. When I was still in my hometown gossip loop, I was aware that she had married young and had kids but I think there were mental health issues and perhaps suicide attempts on her part and it sounds like her life hasn't improved much. Seeing her massive, androgynous face staring out from a shitty Sears Photo Studio portait was incredibly depressing...

On a lighter note, I discovered a profile for a much younger male cousin of mine who I haven't seen in 10 years and was never very close to. My brother and I were already pretty much convinced he was a fellow traveler in the Friends of Dorothy fanclub; the kid played the organ at an early age and learned how to mince before he learned how to walk...(also, it runs in the family; out of 8 grandkids, 4 of them are queer, that we know of). My suspicions were confirmed when I found his profile and saw his profile photo. My cuz is curled up with a rather hunky, somewhat older black man in a pose that suggests mutual buggery rather than wholesome male bonding...It's probably best that our mutual grandfather, a man who had to be gradually weened down to using "darkie" to refer to our African-American brethren as opposed to starker, earthier terms, is long since gone from this mortal coil.

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