It's horrid outside, I'm in a foul mood and sick of everything...

...so hopefully this completely gratuitous shot of Jon Hamm, the sexiest man on tv, (sorry, Matthew Fox; you shouldn't have shaved your chest) will warm the cockles of our pants.

I'm not saying anything else, because it would be a steady stream of rancid bile, a non-stop bitchfest concerning the weather, unshoveled sidewalks, irritating hipsters and annoying yuppies, Metro, the holiday season, financial woes, job insecurity, mental anguish, artistic bankruptcy and a monologue devoted to my negative body image and lack of sexual potency and desirability.

And if that fucking Celtic Women "special" runs one more goddamned time on PBS, I may run amuck at Seattle Center and burn down KCTS and string George Ray from a light pole...is it really necessary or financially prudent to run the same horrid program every night of your fucking pledge drive?

Is it the New Year yet?

It's a cliche, but I think this picture sums up how we all feel,

physically and emotionally...

Part of that is due to the state of mass transit in Seattle during a weather crisis; Metro tends to fall apart. My first bus yesterday smelled like: 1)a week old dirty diaper or, 2)just starting to rot egg salad. At my first transfer point there was a deranged man repeating in a loop, "I hope my apartment building doesn't burn down; it would be like the Towering Inferno!" and "I don't know how to make an igloo!". On my way home, the #8 that should have shown up at Denny & Dexter at 5:21pm failed to do so. When a bus finally came at 5:47, it was packed tighter than a Tokyo subway car full of Salarymen, which at least made the bus warm and cozy.

Today, I'm wearing the following amount of layers:
Torso/Core: 5
Butt/Naughty Bits: 3
Legs: 2
Feet: 3
Hands/Face: 0

As per yesterdays post, I would prefer wearing nothing, on a beach drinking a pina colada.

And with that horrifying image, I leave you, for now...

Ideally....

...for me, at least, the outside temperture should be warm enough that you are comfortable being outside naked for at least an hour, withhout fear of frostbite or third degree burns...

The weather today makes me most unhappy. If you stood outside in the nude, you'd be dead in 10 minutes, either the victim of frostbite or ravenous, rape minded Capitol Hill type bears...if you looked like this young man.

photo from http://scenicboys.typepad.com/

My Bad.

Sorry for the lack of posts. Things have changed for me at work and I'm working on new projects that require me to actually do some work and not spend hours goofing on the Internet. The original project I was hired for, has ended, and sadly, many of my friends and co-workers have been laid off, (though some of them are thrilled with the prospect of going on unemployment). The stuff I'm doing now, should carry me over to at least mid-January with a chance that it could go even longer, so I'm hopeful, even though part of me would love a little time off...

And, here's a gratuitous picture of a cute kitty, my friends Kurt and Stephanie's beloved Carlito.

Reading between the lines...

A friend sent me this:

THOSE BORN 1920-1980

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.

As infants &children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank Kool-aid made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because,
WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day.And we were OK.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computer! s, no Internet or chat rooms......
WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not poke out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment.

Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of.

They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

If YOU are one of them CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good .

While you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave (and lucky) their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!

I loathe shit like this...What's really being said in a nostalgic piece of crap like this is, "Remember the Good Ole Days, when Women knew their Place and Stayed Home in the Kitchen, and the Darkies knew to stay at the Back of the Bus, and Faggots only lived in a couple Big Cities and worked as Hairdressers or Florists, and White Heterosexual Men could safely and confidently Rule The World without any Interference? Do ya? WELL, DO YA!?!?!?!?!?"

But, I will say, I do miss the Good Ole Days when I would hitchhike to Grade School with that kindly ole bachelor who lived down the street...However, I hated Go-Carts and only Retarded children would actually eat a worm or a mud pie or a Clark Bar.

I also remember, as a kid, being bored out of my mind because there wasn't anything interesting to do, just like kids do now, and would have given my left nut for Nintendo or a DVD player.

Oh, and, I still have my BB Gun...it's in the closet of my ultra-fab apartment on Capitol Hill but I never take it out for fear that my more mean-spirited neighbors would want to borrow it to shoot the pesky squirrels that live in the eaves above their apartment. I only used my bb gun to shoot beer bottles, in the house, when my parents weren't home...It was hella fun.

boom

Press notes for boom state, "A marine biologist calculates that the end of the world is near and posts an online personals ad, hoping to find a girl that will help him ensure the survival of the species. But when push comes to shove, saving life on earth on the first date proves to be a bit of a challenge."

I'm going to see this on the 30th at Seattle Rep primarily for the divine actor pictured, Nick Garrison who plays the GAY marine biologist. Chelsey Rives also stars as the girl he meets along with Gretchen Krich. I haven't heard of any reviews yet, but I have high hopes...Mr Garrison is one of our best local actors.

For tickets and more info, (tickets are priced $29-$45) phone (206) 443-2222, toll free at (877) 900-9285 or online at seattlerep.org.

Photo by Chris Bennion.

Stitches

Update to my below post on Travis Young's horrific injury at The Skylark on Halloween night. To catch those of you up too lazy to scroll down to the previous post, Young, the singer for We Wrote The Book On Connectors, (a band name that is entirely too long), went crowd surfing during his set and despite his diminutive frame, the inebriated hipster audience was unable to adequately support his body weight and he fell on broken glass and slashed open his thigh. (Strangeways is still recovering from the sight of blood gushing from Young's leg in a scene that recalled Sam Peckinpaw at his best...) I'm happy to report that Young made it to the emergency room in time and didn't join Kurt, Jimi, and Janis in the Rock Star Enclave in the Sky, but he did receive 28 stitches, or so I hear...

The best of luck to him on a full recovery and hopefully, a valuable lesson learned, (don't expect drunken, aging hipsters in smelly Red Light costumes to catch you, if you should fall...)

It was a good weekend...

1)Went out to dinner with friends on Saturday and ate at Senor Moose in Ballard, which is a brilliant Mexican restaurant on Leary across from the Olympic gym, then had drinks at Hattie's Hat. The food at Moose is not your typical burritos/tacos/enchilada fare; I had a dish with chicken livers, bacon and jalopenos that was out of this world...(yeah, and probably not the best thing to eat cholesterol-wise, but damn, it was good...)
2)I had some burning down the house sex and it had been awhile since that had happened...there's nothing better than sex with someone you have excellent sexual chemistry with...
3)And, most importantly, I finally got my McRib I've been fantasizing about ever since they started running the commercials a couple weeks ago. It was delicious, but I have to admit that it wasn't as great as I remembered it...maybe, they're using a different kind of "meat" or maybe I just have more sophisticated tastes now...

I loved her last week, and...

...I love her more even now.

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/thedishrag/2008/11/wanda-sykes-wif.html

Burn.

I'm gay and happy to be gay and I want to be treated with respect and have the same rights as any other citizen. Yes, I'm appalled by the anti-gay legislation that passed on Election Day. Yes, I'm angry at the people and organizations trying to deny me my basic rights. Yes, I want to see positive change in my lifetime.

What I don't like is a lot of the rhetoric coming from the lgbt community. I don't like the blame game and the finger pointing: "Blame the Blacks!" Blame the Mexicans!" "Blame the Mormons!" And, I really dislike the ongoing blacklisting and witchhunting. The names of people who contributed to the Yes On Prop 8 campaign are being published and the lgbt community is going after those people and hounding them. A restaurant manager. A theatre manager. Average citizens being threatened with the loss of their jobs and their businesses, which they don't own, facing boycotts because these people contributed money to a political campaign, despite the fact that the businesses themselves might be pro gay rights and employ lgbt employees. It doesn't make much sense and it's very frightening and I'm afraid that if it keeps up, someone is going to end up dead, either a victim of violence or by their own hands. Is that what we really want? And while I may not LIKE these people, and to be accurate, actively dislike them for supporting legislation that persecutes me, I don't wish them dead, or homeless, or unemployed. Blacklists and witchhunts, regardless of the reasons why they are being done, or the perceived justification that it's for a good and just cause, are just bullshit. For me, it's the equivalent of saying it's ok to use a machine gun to massacre a Mormon Sunday school class because the ends justify the means and gosh darn it, they deserve it because they are oppressing me! And, I don't think it noble and just to use a tool most famously used by the McCarthyites to wipe out THEIR perceived enemies and promote their own agenda with the justification that's it's ok because we're "The Good Guys" and they're "The Bad Guys". Just because our side IS the good and just side doesn't make it morally right to destoy other people's lives because they oppose us, in order to reach our objective. "The Bad Guys" thought they were right when they went after Alger Hiss or the Hollywood 10. (And, if people were supporting denying us our jobs, or evicting us, or putting us in a prison camp, then that's another kettle of fish. The right to get married is of the greatest importance, but, for me, it's not the same as the right to be employed or to have a home, or to be allowed to live...)

I don't have any problem with people expressing their disapproval at other peoples actions; if you don't like the fact that Suzi the Waitress gave money to a cause that oppresses you, then don't sit in Suzi's section at her restaurant, or, better yet, open up a dialogue with her and find out WHY she acted the way she did...maybe she'll change her mind, but, if she doesn't, that's her own fucking business. She can give money to whoever she wants and support whatever cause she likes because that's her right, the same as it's your right to support whatever cause you might choose to support. It's freedom, stupid.

Yes, I hate the Mormon church and yes, I like seeing them sweat a little, and I do think their generous financial support certainly helped Prop 8 win and no, I don't think non-profit churches have any fucking business getting involved in politics and spending their non-taxed money on government issues and political causes. If they want to pull that shit, then they can pay taxes. But, I also have to point out a couple things: the No on Prop 8 people ran a bad, lameass campaign. It wasn't well organized or well-funded and the commercials were for the most part, terrible and ineffective if not detrimental to the cause. Nobody wants to admit that the ball was dropped when it came to the campaign, but then it's not fun to point fingers at yourself...

Secondly, where were the fags and dykes BEFORE the election? There's shitloads of outrage NOW, after the fact, with tons of demonstrations and protests and rallies but hardly a peep BEFORE the election. Maybe a big, loud, peaceful march of a few hundred thousand fags and their supporters in every major city in California might have got the point across to the rest of California that our voices are many and strong and united and it was time for THEM to take notice of our presence in their lives and respect us with dignity and equality. And it wouldn't hurt to let the Sweaty Masses know that unless they wanted to live in a world without cute hairdos, tastefully designed clothes, vibrantly decorated homes and wittily written/directed/designed/produced/acted entertainment diversions, they'd better pony up and Do The Right Thing...

All the protests going on now, seem like they are a week late and a few million dollars short...It's great that we are making our voices heard, but we needed a bit of this hoopla a month ago.

Bloody Fun

I've been meaning to post this for days, but I've been busy at work and too lazy at home...I went to The Skylark in West Seattle/Delridge on Halloween to check out some friends that were playing there that night, (the details of which are down below in my Halloween post). Basically, what they booked was a bunch of different bands to do short sets of covers from famous bands. The results, weren't very surprising; most of the sets were of the wedding band variety or steep descents into Karaoke-ville. They were entertaining, but there wasn't much effort from any of the musicians to put their own stamp on the songs. Only the girls from Danielli/H is for Hellgate/The Hungry Pines bothered to funk up some classic Nirvana songs and make them more contemporary and modern; they did a great job, (and obviously I'm biased since I'm very good friends with Danielli, but still, these girls rocked it out...).

But the biggest crowd pleasers were the dudes from "We Wrote The Book On Connectors" who went to town covering The Beastie Boys, complete with multiple costume changes, robots, backup dancers, props and a lot of general mayhem...the audience went nuts and people began crowd surfing, which may or may not have been partially pre-aranged, and towards the end of their last song, co-lead singer Travis Young decided to join in the fun and leapt from the stage and onto the crowd. Only problem, the crowd was insanely drunk and despite Young's diminutive stature, no one was apparently able to support him and he fell and landed on someone's glass or beer bottle, thereby inflicting a long and deep gash into his thigh. Young quickly leapt back up on stage, finished the song and began removing the pants to his costume to get a better look at his injury. I was standing with my friend Kerri behind the stage area and we were fortunate enough to be close enough to the stage to witness a foot long gush of blood shoot out of Young's leg after he took his pants off. Kerri and I simultaneously looked at each other in horror and said, "That's fucking bad...that dude needs to get to the ER immediately". Meanwhile the band is tearing down their equipment and props and someone hands Kerri some costumes to take downstairs to the musician's holding area and eventually Young gets off stage with his guitar and limps downstairs. No one in the band seems that alarmed at their bandmate's injury, so I made a point to tell the bass player, (or maybe it was another guitarist) that they need to get their buddy to the hospital as soon as possible but he just kinda shrugged and mumbled at me as he walked by. Fortunately, Kerri was downstairs when Young showed up and Young's girlfriend as well, and Kerri was able to play grown up and convince them to go to the ER and to apply some pressure to the wound to staunch the bleeding. It also helped that Young and his girlfriend realized that a huge gash in your leg and blood soaked clothes are not a good sign of long term physical being, so they quickly left for the hospital. I'm not exactly in the loop when it comes to long music news and gossip, so I didn't hear how it had all turned out, but I finally found out on Monday that they made it in time and he was ok, so that's good.

It was a fun and exciting evening, but I have to say that The Skylark needs to get their act together. The place was packed and it had to be over their occupancy limits; if there had been a fire or an earthquake or anything that would have caused a stamped to the exits, a lot of people would have been killed. And, they also didn't appear to have any security, just a woman at the door checking I.D. As a result, the crowd got way too rowdy and The Skylark is NOT the ideal location for crowd surfing; people were throwing stuff around and spraying each other with beer and at times, it seemed like it was verging on the edge of getting past the point of no return. The bar staff seemed overwhelmed and a little freaked out and no one seemed to be in charge. Hopefully, the management will have the sense to hire some security for big events like Halloween and New Years. I think they were just lucky this time that something really awful didn't happen.

The picture of Travis Young is from the We Wrote The Book on Connectors website: http://www.wewrotethebookonconnectors.com/bio.htm

Auntie Mame is Hung...and so am I.

Due to the celebritory consumption of vodka Gimlets last night, Strangeways finds himself feeling achy and tired...also, generally happy over the various outcomes but annoyed with California and other states idiotic anti-gay initiatives.

Also, why the fuck is Ted Stevens doing so well? Are Alaskans that stupid?

Oh.

Yeah.

Happy Halloween! (Happy B-day, Pam D!)

Image from the Juxtapoz website...no photo attribution was given on the site.

Oh, and if you're in the Delridge neighborhood tonite, check this out at the Skylark; it's a great venue:

friday, october 31
8pm COME AS YOU AREN'T (2nd Annual Halloween Battle Of The Bands! Judges: nadamucho.com) All bands will be disguised as other bands, playing three songs each. Extra points if fans are dressed as the band's fans! Confirmed acts vying for the Golden Cowbell: NORMAN BAKER as The Decemberists SPEEDMOP as the Go-Go's BONE CAVE BALLET as Duran Duran M. BISON as The Kinks HELEN CHANCE as The Yeah Yeah Yeahs WE WROTE THE BOOK ON CONNECTORS as The Beastie Boys H IS FOR HUNGRY DANIELLI as Nirvana APPLE WAR as QueennDrink specials: $2 Session bottles/$4 glasses of Pinot Noir (normally $8)nnn

http://www.skylarkcafe.com/

The Futurama of Sarah Palin

I don't want to be cocky but barring any sort of upset or skullduggery, it looks like McPalin is going to lose next Tuesday which raises the question, "Where does Sarah Palin go from here?" (Sadly, for Grandpa Walnuts, it does NOT raise the question, "Where does John McCain go from here?" because the answer is self-evident; he goes back to the Senate for two more years to be followed by a flaccid Flagstaffian retirement with his shrewishly frigid wife before a sad and prolongingly dull and underreported death...)

Unlike McCain, Sarah Palin does have a future in politics; Andy Warhol prophesied that in the future, everyone would be famous for 15 minutes but he never said that some people would be famous for a lot longer than that. Governor Palin has already had her 15 minutes and I'm afraid she's got several more increments of a quarter hour up her Neiman Marxist sleeve. I'm guessing that by the end of November we're going to hear a major publishing house announce they've signed Palin to a seven figure book deal. Despite what she implied in her Vargas interview, Palin does have to go back to Alaska to finish the job she currently holds; Governor of Alaska. She has two more years to serve in Juneau which is a long way from Washington and New York. (I'm guessing she's going to be racking up a lot of frequent flyer miles with Alaskan Air.) But what does she do in 2010 when her term expires? Run for re-election? Run for Senator Lisa Murkowski's seat? Announce her presidential campaign? Go the pundit route with her own Fox show or a blog? Or go the conservative think tank route?

I'm guessing she won't run for re-election as governor; Alaska is a long way from everything and not a convenient hub to expand a national political career. Running for Murkowski's seat is an option, but the GOP could object to her running against a Republican incumbent. (And Palin ousted Murkowski's dad for the governor's chair; the Murkowskis would put up a bitter fight to ward off Palin). Palin is also facing some sliding approval ratings in her home state and running for a Senate seat as a stop-gap on her way to a presidential run could likely work against her. I'm going to go for the pundit/think tank route for Palin which would allow her maximum public exposure as well as allow her to travel the country building up financial and logistical support for a 2012 run for the White House. (Of course, this would mean she'd have to live a good chunk of the year in that bastion of Socialism and UnReal America, the NY/DC corridor, but that's the price a patriot has to make to further her noble cause...sadly, the hunting by helicopter options are few but on the plus side, there's some nice peaceful "schools" for Trig to attend...)

Regardless the option she chooses, you can bet that Sarah Palin will remain in the news, (there's a wedding to plan!) and a whole lot of Republicans in this country will be paying at least 4 figures to enjoy a fish or chicken dinner with the governor in a Marriot or Hyatt hotel banquet room near YOU...

Image: Zina Saunders http://www.zinasaunders.com/

I'm feeling much better!

and I'm looking fabulous and feeling perkier than the nipples on a British secret agent!

(Damn, that man is fine and I normally don't go for smooth blondes, but Holy Frijole, Daniel Craig DOES make me feel all funny "down there"...)

I'm still busy at work, finishing up a monster project and chagrined that I'm cheated out of some very rare OT because I'm unable to work from home due to my state of MacHood...obviously, it's a Microsoft conspiracy to keep me and all Mac users down and out...

Sick.

The flu crap that's been going around has laid me low; I'm still working, 'cause of course, I don't get any paid sick days as a contract worker, but due to a lack of energy and the fact that I actually have to work on a big project, I'm not posting anything for awhile....I promise I'll make it up to the six or seven people who actually check this blog out...In the meantime, enjoy the news that McCain is currently less than 8 points ahead of Obama in McCain's home state of Arizona and in that reddest of Red States Mississippi, (which, to me, isn't that huge of a shock considering that nearly a third of Mississippi is African American....)

Worth Repeating

Savage and various hipster snobs are on the anti-shopping/tv is bad bandwagon over on SLOG...I had to point this out:

I've noticed that people who say they hate to shop or claim that they don't shop, frequently have the latest tech gadgets, shelves full of books and cds and dvds and a closet or garage full of sports equipment. Many of them spend hours wandering around Best Buy or Bailey/Coy or Silver Platters or REI looking/drooling/buying their favorite shit. People who claim they hate/don't shop, really mean that they hate to shop for boring stuff/necessities and disdain people who like to shop for the stuff they aren't interested in. The whole, "I'm a better person because I don't like to shop for so called frivolous things" is just a lot of elitist, hipster bullshit. The notion that it's cool to spend two hours in Powell's or a Virgin Records because you're a book/music lover but it's not cool to spend your time looking for a cute bargain outfit or some discount art or knick-knacks is hypocritical.

And, I won't even get started on the whole, "I feel superior because I don't own/watch television, yet I spend 4 hours a day on the Internet watching the same media in a different format" defense of many a hipster...

I want to add that I don't consider myself a frivolous shopper...I HATE paying full price and I'm not one of those, "if it's more expensive, it's better" people. I'm also not a chronic or compulsive shopper. My favorite kind of shopping is finding a flea market/antique mall and wandering around and looking for cute, funky bargains.

I do freely admit to watching too much tv and I'd like to watch less, but I'm not a snob about it. There's no difference between sitting on your ass watching prime time tv for three hours everynight and sitting around on your ass cruising the Internet for three hours and watching shit on YouTube.

And why is it always WOMEN who are portrayed as shopaholics in cartoons and ads? It's really sexist; plenty of men, both gay and straight, like to buy shit. Apparently, a guy constantly going to Home Depot to buy tools and DIY stuff and hang out with his buddies isn't the same as a woman frivolously spending time at the mall buying clothes and household goods...

Sorry...I haven't posted much.

I've been busy working on a bitch of project plagued by a slow tool and runtime errors which doesn't allow me any time to play on here...and I'm so mentally fatigued by the end of the day, I have no interest in blogging from home.

I also rejoined my gym, at Seattle Central, to help me lose weight and lower my cholesterol and keep me from wasting every evening vegging out in front of the tube watching Dancing with the Stars, Top Model and The Greatest Loser while scarfing down Ghiradelli bittersweet chocolate chips...

She's checking to see who's been naughty and nice...

THE DINA MARTINA CHRISTMAS SHOW
November 28 - December 31 2008:
Re-bar, 1114 Howell St. (at Boren Ave.)
Door opens at 7pm / Show starts at 8
$20
Tickets on sale NOW!
http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/46945

Life on Mars is stillborn

The second episode of the American remake of the hit British television series, Life on Mars, aired last night on ABC and I'm almost ready to throw in the towel. If you're not aware, LOM is about a contemporary police detective who is seriously injured in a hit and run and "wakes up" as a cop in 1973 NYC. The original series was critically praised and there were high hopes for the new version, but it's just failing miserably. The writing is atrocious; characters are cliches and the plots meandering and because the writing is so abysmal and the directing not much better, the excellent cast is floundering and in the case of Harvey Keitel, actually kind of embarassing in their performances. And, for some reason, the writers and production team feel that it's necessary to constantly reinforce the message that we're in 1973...we're overwhelmed with excessive amounts of set dressing, costumes, songs, cultural references and stereotypes of the era to make sure the audience is aware, "Hey! It's 1973! Isn't it kooky?!?!?" I think most of the problem is with the show runners, the producing/writing team hired to run the show; it's a bunch of hacks from that crappy Dawsons Creek/One Tree Hill wannabe October Road that aired on ABC over a year ago. If I were the execs at ABC, I would have checked into the availability of some of the writer/producers of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. They had a crackerjack team that knew how to blend drama and fantasy elements so that one didn't overwhelm the other. (Also, they come up with brilliant scripts and very intelligent dialogue week after week for 7 years). Oh, and ABC, dump your current set and costume designers and cinematographers and hire some of the people who worked on the Tales of the City miniseries, or the movie Zodiac, or even That 70's Show...they were all much, much better at recreating a believable and realistic version of the era than the hacks currently hired.

Pictured: Lead actor Jason O'Mara one of the few good reasons to watch the show...

Ouch II

You know it's a sad day in Republicanville, when it's less than four weeks to election day and the Republican's are only polling 3 percentage points above the Democrats in the Deep Red/Bible Beltin' South...From Pollster.com:

InsiderAdvantage
Mode: IVR

Georgia 10/9, 509 LV, 4%
McCain 49, Obama 46

Ohio 10/9, 531 LV, 4%
Obama 49, McCain 44

What are the Republicans going to do? Their party is old and out of touch; one look at the crowd at the RNC in St Paul made that abundately clear. Middle of the road conservatives are looking with great distaste at the Fundamentalist Christian/Redneck Racist wing of the party and not liking what they see. And the twentysomething, young conservatives might proclaim fiscally conservative values and embrace themes of patriotism and pride for their country but they're not attracted to the racist/sexist/homophobic rhetoric of the Far Right; they grew up with and studied with and now work with blacks, and Asians, and Hispanics and Jews and have female teachers and bosses and feel comfortable hanging out with their gay siblings and cousins and co-workers and friends. Even though they might be good church goers and have a fondness for deer hunting, that doesn't mean they want hypocritical Bible pounding preachers and beer-swilling, pig-eyed Klan members dictating their political beliefs. And with the racistly tinged nastiness of the McCain campaign, the Republicans have already apparently written off people of color as desirable members of the Republican Party. If they don't do something soon, to muzzle the extreme right and start bringing in the young and the non-white, the Republican Party might find itself old, impotent and irrelevant in modern society.

Daddy George Clooney to audtion for Joe Gage's "Men's Room IV: Piss on Pop"

He can get on my nerves sometimes and he really isn't my type, but this IS a hot pic... The 'stache and haircut must be for his role as a military dude in "Men Who Stare At Goats", a bizarrely plotted film set to begin filming this month. Here's a blurb on it from a site called Cinematical:

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Ewan McGregor, Kevin Spacey, and Jeff Bridges are joining George Clooney, under Grant Heslov's direction.

The film is based on Jon Ronson's book of the same title, and follows his investigation into the secret wing of the U.S. First Earth Battalion, a paranormal research unit created in 1978. Its goal was to create "Warrior Monks," supersoldiers who could do all sorts of comic-booky things like walk through walls, become invisible, read minds, and kill creatures by staring at them long enough. One soldier in Ronson's book claims he killed a hamster and a goat doing just that.

http://www.cinematical.com/2008/09/14/ewan-mcgregor-kevin-spacey-jeff-bridges-stare-at-goats/

Personally, I think I'd rather see Clooney in "Men's Room IV"...

I got the picture from Defamer.

McCain losing in North Carolina

Latest poll from Public Policy Polling finds Obama leading McCain 50% to 44% and Political Wire, the site I got this info from, also notes that:

Interesting: Obama's numbers rise every time he makes a visit to the state. McCain hasn't visited in five months.

How dumb are the Republicans? The polling has been bad for the Republicans for well over a month in North Carolina and not just for President. The incumbent Senator, Elizabeth Dole, who until recently seemed like a sure bet for the Republicans, has also been trailing in the polls for the last few weeks. You'd think that the minute the polling started to look a little bit crappy they whould have sent McCain down there for at least a brief visit to shore things up.

It's amazing that the Republicans, who in recent years revolutionized the modern campaign process which led to their huge victories all over the country, have so drastically dropped the ball this election cycle. Has the last eight years of corruption, scandal and criminality really sapped all the life and common sense out of them? They've become a politcal party of the old, the tired and the enfeebled. We're watching the Republican National Party fall apart in front of our very eyes. Are they just wanting the Democrats to win big now, to deal with all the Republican made messes, so they can seize power again in four years if the Dems don't succeed?
I thought that for awhile, but the way the Republicans are flailing, it really looks like they're out of touch with reality and the needs of the American public. The Apocalypse of the Republican Party is a spectacle both horrifying and sadly, well-earned.

And in other polling, Obama continues to pull ahead in Ohio, Virginia, Minnesota, New Hampshire, Colorado, Florida...Instead of barely winning 270 EV, Obama is starting to look like he could potentially top 370 or even 400 EV.

Mildred

Film director and Portland resident Todd Haynes told Willamette Week that he plans to film a television remake of "Mildred Pierce", the James M. Cain novel that was turned into an iconic Joan Crawford/Warner Brothers film in 1945. Crawford won her only Oscar for her role as a divorced waitress turned entrepreneur who has some parenting issues with her spoiled rotten daughter. Haynes would base the film on the original source novel and not the film, and set his film in the book's Thirties/Depression era setting as opposed to the 40's wartime setting of the original film. Read more about it, here: http://wweek.com/wwire/?p=13536

I like the IDEA of a new Mildred Pierce (it's one of my favorite films), and I think Haynes will do a good job, but I'm not sure it's the smartest career move for him. He's already done the old film hommage with "Far From Heaven", his take on the Douglas Sirk films of the 1950's. Personally, I'd like to see him do something a little more contemporary, more along the lines of "Safe", the 1995 Julianne Moore starring film about a woman who finds herself allergic to her consumerist lifestyle.

I have to admit that I have an idea for a stage piece based on Mildred that would be more in the vein of parody/travesty and involve music by Stephen Sondheim, but I don't want to reveal more than that. I also know that beloved Seattle actor Nick Garrison has his own idea of how he'd like to stage Mildred as well, and it's a pretty clever idea. Hopefully, someday, Seattle will get to see one or both of these versions...

Old

It was my birthday Saturday. The wind was incredibly irritating; I finally ventured out of my house at about 4pm, walked a block and a half and was nearly blown over and immediately returned to the house. That futile excursion helped put me into a foul food, not much aided by dwelling on my advanced age and lack of life accomplishments. Fortunately, the wind died down by early evening and I was able to enjoy my evening out at Tango with friends/family and gorged myself on Queso Fundido and other Spanish nibbles. It was my second consecutive night of Hibernian treats; I went to Olivar, the new Spanish restaurant across from the Harvard Exit, on Friday night with my friends Lou and Barbara. The food there is quite good, and the prices aren't bad, (dinner for four, w/o wine was $120) but the acoustics are horrible; we sat next to a very loud table of four and had a difficult time listening to our own conversation. Oh, and the place is popular; they were able to squeeze us in at 8.30pm but only barely so apparently it's a place where it might be good to make reservations if you're going on a weekend.

The picture is a clue to my great age...among other things.

Hate to say it, but...

Palin can be kind of adorable. I'm not sure if it's the syrupy, "dontcha know" accent or the little winks and smiles but she IS a cutie pie. However, those qualities qualify her to be your favorite cousin to hang out with at holiday gatherings but not to become Vice-President of the United States...

And Biden did a good job by not being too blustery or Foghorn Leghorny and keeping to the facts and harping on the Bush-McCain link. He came across as the friendly uncle who'd bail you out of a jam but you'd have to put up with a long-winded lecture on responsibility.

McCain pulls out of Michigan without cumming...

The McCain campaign has confirmed that they're reducing their presence in Michigan to concentrate on states they think they can take from Obama: Pennsylvania, Minnesota and Wisconsin, despite the fact that Obama has 3 to 5 point leads in all those states and they traditionally vote Democratic.

It's fairly obvious that the McCain campaign is financially strapped. They chose to take federal money for their campaign which precludes them from public fundraising, while Obama chose to not go that route and can spend as much money as he can raise, which so far, has worked to his advantage. In past years, the Republicans didn't have to spend much in states like Virginia, or North Carolina, or Indiana but Obama has made serious inroads in those states which requires the Republicans to spend large amounts of money for expensive commercials and man large campaign offices in states that had long been thought to be solidly Red. (The McCain campaign didn't even bother to staff Indiana thinking it had it in the bag.) And Florida, a state with 4 expensive media markets; Miami, Orlando, Tampa/St Pete's and Jacksonville is very competitive this year thus eating up millions of McCain dollars for commercials and field offices they had hoped they wouldn't have needed. Giving up Michigan, was probably the only move they had left if they wanted to spend the money where it would do the most good. Concentrating on Minnesota/Wisconsin allows them to focus their ad buys to Minneapolis/St Paul, a media market that covers most of Minnesota and the western half of Wisconsin. In a sense, geography and the proximity of media markets play a major role in the shape of a modern political campaign.

That's the problem with Michigan and the reasoning behind the McCain campaign's decision to pull out; it all boils down to geography. Michigan is an oddly shaped state with a densely populated lower peninsula and a sparsely populated upper peninsula, surrounded by huge bodies of water, (The Great Lakes) and bordering Canada along it's eastern half. Spending huge amounts of ad money in Detroit means that half that money is being spent on spreading the McCain message to the fine citizens of south central Ontario. Dumping Michigan makes far more sense than dumping Pennsylvania, where at least ad dollars spent in Philadelphia and Pittsburgh will also bleed over into respectively, New Jersey and Eastern Ohio. And, McCain can't afford to blow off Ohio. The race there is still very tight and McCain has to take Ohio or Florida if he wants to have any choice of winning. But Ohio's 20EV come at a huge cost; it's a large state with three major media markets, (Cincinnati, Cleveland, and Columbus) and three mini-major markets, (Dayton, Akron and Toledo). That's millions and millions of dollars of ad time to remain viable in Ohio.

And this is another option for Obama to defeat McCain. If the Obama campaign has the money to spare, they might start running more ads in Texas and the rest of the deep South. The latest polls had McCain only 9 points ahead in Texas and 8 points in Mississippi. If the Obama campaign were to start doing more campaigning and ad buying in those markets and the poll numbers continued to improve for Obama, then the strapped McCain campaign would be forced to start running in states they don't have the money to compete in. Having to spend tens of millions of dollars for ads in Houston, Dallas and San Antonio would probably bankrupt the Republicans.

Some new polling from Time/CNN

CNN / TIME / ORC
Mode: Live Telephone Interviews
(source)

Florida 9/28-30, 770 LV, 3.5%
Obama 51, McCain 47
Obama 51, McCain 43, Nader 3, Barr 1, McKinney 1

Minnesota 9/28-30, 849 LV, 3.5%
Obama 54, McCain 43
Obama 53, McCain 41, Nader 2, Barr 1, McKinney 0

Missouri 9/28-30, 744 LV, 3.5%
Obama 49, McCain 48
Obama 47, McCain 46, Nader 2, Barr 2

Nevada 9/28-30, 684 LV, 4%
Obama 51, McCain 47
Obama 49, McCain 44, Nader 4, Barr 1, McKinney 0

Virginia 9/28-30, 684 LV, 4%
Obama 53, McCain 44
Obama 52, McCain 42, Nader 2, Barr 2, McKinney 0

Over 50% everywhere but Missouri which is still very close.

And here's a chart from FiveThirtyEight.com with polls from yesterday with some great numbers from PA, OH, FL, NJ, and VA.
I'm itching to see some new numbers from presumed McCain states, esp. Texas, Louisiana, Arkansas, Mississippi. I don't think Obama can take those states, and he hasn't really tried very hard, but I'm guessing that the numbers are closer than you think, esp. in LA and MS, two states that are nearly 1/3 African-American. I'm still very convinced that the pollsters don't do a very good job with minorities or the young, both big Obama supporters.

All the recent polling has been bad news for McCain but I'm not going to get cocky about it...we've still got a month to go.

I'm cautiously very optimistic.

I got this info from Pollster.com

UPDATE: I guess the pollster.com fairies heard me; here's some new polls from the heart of Red America. McCain having less than a 10 point lead in TX and MS is not good news for the Republicans; MS is now within the margin of error and could potentially turn into a swing state! And those senate races are tightening up, esp in MS where Wicker was considered a shoo-in and Noriega is only down by 7 in Texas. If Hispanic Dems turn out in droves in Texas to vote for Obama, that can only help Noriega. The Dems might hit 60 seats in the Senate after all.

Rasmussen Reports
Mode: IVR

Mississippi 9/30, 500 LV, 4.5%
McCain 52, Obama 44
Sen: Wicker (R-i) 49, Musgrove (D) 47

Tennessee 9/29, 500 LV, 4.5%
McCain 58, Obama 39
Sen: Alexander (R-i) 56, Tuke (D) 32

Texas 9/29, 500 LV, 4.5%
McCain 52, Obama 43
Sen: Cornyn (R-i) 50, Noriega (D) 43

Ouch.

I went to my new doctor yesterday and really, really liked him so I'm happy that I think I've found a GP I can trust. And, happily, my blood pressure was decent and I've already got a few test results back and I'm pleased to report I'm still HiV negative. On the downside, my cholesterol wasn't very good which is troubling since my diet isn't that horrible so that basically means it's time to get off my fat ass and start exercising and losing some blubber. And I HATE exercising. Oh, and I got a long delayed tetanus shot and my arm still hurts like a motherfucker but at least I can rest assured that it's safe for me to play with rusty nails and jagged bits of old barbed wire.

Two things to note: My doctor is young and very cute which is a little disconcerting. Prostate exams are embarrassing and awful no matter what your sexual orientation is, (despite what gay porno films portray), but it seems less so if the doctor is older and/or not sexually attractive to you. When they're much younger than you are, and very attractive, it only makes you feel older and more unattractive. I almost wanted to apologize to him for subjecting him to my flabby rump. But then I remembered he's making huge amounts of money to look at people's asses all day, so I felt less sorry for him...plus, he gets to see quite a few cute asses as well, so it all balances out.

Also, he had a corner office/exam room on the 7th floor of a high rise building with huge windows and views of the city. He reassured me that the windows were mirror-tinted and that no one could see in, but I still felt better when he pulled the blinds. I'm not enough of an exhibitionist to truly enjoy exposing my bunghole to half of Seattle.

At least, not for free.

Sad

not much else to say when an icon dies. Actually, I do have a tiny anecdote...I SAW Paul Newman once, in Kansas City circa 1989, when he was filming Mr & Mrs Bridge. I was walking down the street in downtown KC on my way to work at the Radisson when I saw a tiny but charismatic man wearing a 1940's era suit walking towards me and as we passed one another, my mind immediately clicked and thought, "that dude looks like Paul Newman..." and, of course it was. As always, I refrained from the whole, nerdy, running up to to a celebrity to gush over them thing. It's so tacky.

So, goodbye Mr Newman. You were a sexy piece of manflesh, a good actor, (we'll be forgiving of your encounters with Irwin Allen and Altman's Quintet) and you made a mean pineapple salsa.

And, I'm wondering how long before the post-mortem gay rumors start appearing in print...or, will they be tasteful and wait until Joanne Woodward is dead?

It's baaaaaack...

Trannyshack is coming back to town on Friday, October 24th. As I have said in the past, I find traditional drag to be a major bore and the gay equivalent of a minstrel show, but the bitch/punk divas of the 'shack know how to put on a show.WARNING: If you plan on standing near the front, you could get messy...these bitches are known to go all CarrotTop/Gallagher-ish when it comes to props and the food and fake blood could go flyin'....

Seacrest needs to get Out...

from Defamer:

However, while on the radio this morning, Ryan Seacrest couldn't help getting snarky on his old pal (Clay Aiken)when he sarcastically dropped the line "In other news, water is wet and ice cream is cold" while discussing the news (of Aiken coming out of the closet).

Dear Frosty-Tipped, Mincing, Little, Man-Bitch,

You are strongly suspected of being a Pass Around Party Bottom Homosexual. If not, then you sure as hell look like one. For someone who got his big break in show business courtesy of his "mentor" Merv Griffin, you say a lot of stupid things. I used to kinda like you; now, I hate you.

You are now on my shit list.

You've been warned.

Strangeways

P.S.

You're getting fat and puffy.

And American Idol is running out of steam.

Photo taken from PerezHilton and where he stole it, who knows...it looks vaguely TMZish. It's well over a year old, and the other guy is/was allegedly a close friend of the Seacrest.

The latest national Gallup poll has the race tied at 46% for each candidate.

Naturally, Savage is hyperventilating over at the Stranger...

Here's some recent STATE polls to calm all the nervous Dems:

CNN / TIME / ORC
9/21-23/08
Mode: Live Telephone Interviews
(source)

Colorado 794 LV, 3.5%
Obama 51, McCain 47
Obama 49, McCain 45, Nader 3, Barr 1, McKinney 0

Michigan 755 LV, 3.5%
Obama 51, McCain 46
Obama 49, McCain 43, Nader 3, Barr 2, McKinney 1

Pennsylvania 730 LV, 3.5%
Obama 53, McCain 44
OBama 51, McCain 43, Nader 3, Barr 1

Rasmussen Reports
9/23/08
Mode: IVR

Massachusetts 500 LV, 4.5%
Pres results coming soon...
Sen: Kerry (D-i) 65, Beatty (R) 30

North Carolina 500 LV, 4.5%
Obama 49, McCain 47
Sen: Hagan (D) 48, Dole (R-i) 45, Cole (L) 2

Allstate / National Journal
9/18-22/08
Mode: Live Telephone Interviews
(source)

Michigan 406 RF, 4.9%
Obama 47, McCain 39

New Hampshire 403 RV, 4.9%
Obama 44, McCain 43

Pennsylvania 406 RV, 4.9%
Obama 43, McCain 41

SurveyUSA
9/23-24/08
Mode: IVR

New York State 668 LV, 3.8%
Obama 57, McCain 38

Pennsylvania 1,094 LV, 3%
Obama 50, McCain 44

Note that Obama is now polling AHEAD of McCain in North Carolina, (of coure, this is only one poll) and that Elizabeth Dole, the incumbent, is trailing her opponent in the Senate race.

All polling info is from: http://www.pollster.com/polls/2008president/

Stewart/Colbert are gods! (but, you already knew that...)

Here they are recreating that notorious New Yorker cover from a couple months back.
And does it bother you a little bit that some of the toughest questions being put forward in this presidential race are coming from these two comedians plus Letterman and the ladies from The View? What happened to journalists like Woodward and Bernstein? The days of the tough print reporter seem to be over...

Also, a note to the Emmy people...just go ahead and book both these guys, or one or the other, to host your show next year...enough with the lameass reality show hosts. If you want a long, dull awards show to be entertaining, then hire ENTERTAINERS to do the hosting duties and not cardboard cut-outs.

oh, and I saw this originally on Towleroad.

Exclusive to The Sideshow: A Behind the Scenes Photo from McCain HQ!

Will the McCain presidential campaign go down in history as the worst run in American History?

The ineptitude is mind-blowing.

The lineup for the 13th Seattle Lesbian & Gay Film Festival has been announced...

I'm underwhelmed. There's way too much retro horror, (The Hunger, Rocky Horror, Nightmare on Elm Street 2 and the closing night gala is Elvira: Mistress of the Dark a 20 year old piece of shit which will feature the presence of Elvira herself, the only redeeming aspect for this presentation), not to mention some strange programming. Jeffrey Schwarz's Jack Wrangler documentary, which I've written about previously on the Sideshow, is showing at 2:30pm on Saturday, October 25th. It seems odd to not schedule a big, star-studded, porno documentary at a more desirable and prestigious time. Meanwhile, lots of blah sounding, touchy-feely coming of age features, many of them lesbionic in nature, hog all the prime screenings. And they've brought back the lame, "classic" tv screenings from last year's festival featuring the likes of old "Charlie's Angels" episodes. I'm sure money must be tight for Three Dollar Bill, who put on the festival, just like it is for SIFF, the group that puts on the regular Seattle Film Festival in May/June; our craptastic economy is causing huge problems for arts based non-profits. But personally, I think I'd rather have a smaller but stronger in quality festival than one that's dedicating so much time to promoting crap you can pick up at Blockbuster or Netflix.

The festival runs October 17th thru 26th and for the first time will have screenings in West Seattle at the Admiral and at the newly renovated King Cat Theatre. For more info and schedules, go here: http://www.threedollarbillcinema.org/08/

The photo is from the festival website and it's a still from "Were the World Mine" the Opening Night Gala film by director Tom Gustafson.

Elderly Marlboro Man threatens Strangeways with bodily harm...

I got on the #8 yesterday at about 5.10pm at Denny and Dexter just like I normally do 5 days a week. That bus is notorious for filling up and having to leave people behind at stops along Denny before hitting Capitol Hill and I was happy to snag one of the last seats on the bus, that parallel seat that faces the backdoor on the smaller buses. As soon as I take my seat I hear a masculine voice grumble something about gentlemen and seats. A moment later, the voice makes another louder comment and I realize it's coming from this tall, rangy old guy stanging in the back door well and glaring at all the men sitting down. He's probably about 60, lean and leathery and wearing a very nice leather Harley Davidson jacket. There's a clear outline of a Skoal can in his left rear pocket. We get to the next stop at Denny and Westlake and more people get on and more "ladies" are required to stand while the gentlemen remain seated and the Outraged Old Cowboy really starts going off: "Gawdamned sons of bitches won't give up their seats for a lady!", "What's the fuckin' world coming to when motherfuckers won't stand for a lady?" "It fuckin' makes me sick to see what the world is coming to!" and more of that ilk.

By now, I'm really irritated at this old shithead and glaring at him. He notices and immediately says to me, "Yeah, I'm talking to you!" And I responded with "Give it a rest!", so of course he goes off on me and the everyone on the bus immediately inches away, gasps or rolls their eyes. We bitch back and forth at each other and I ask him, "How gentlemanly is it to curse and say sonofabitch and motherfucker in front of ladies?", and he doesn't have much to say about that and begins threatening to "get off this motherfucking bus" and I reply, "That's a good idea." By the time we got to Denny and Stewart, the fucker was foaming at the mouth and threatening to pull me off the bus. He screams some more and gets off and I wish him a cheery good-bye and he pops his head back in to glare at me and repeat his threat to pull me off, and I just say, "Go for it, dude" but he declines to beat me to death in public and just stomps off muttering.

After he leaves, everyone breathes a sigh of relief and a few people make comments out loud about the situation and a few people look peeved at me for engaging with the nut but a few people seem admiring that I stood up to his crazy bullshit. After he'd left, I did comment that I'd gladly give up my seat to a pregnant woman or anyone old or disabled and who obviously needs a seat and a few men near me agreed but I have to be honest and say that the whole situation was unpleasant and unnecessary and I SHOULD have kept my mouth shut but sometimes you DO have to speak up. And there IS a tiny part of me that feels guilty about sitting when women are standing; I'm old enough to remember a time when "gentlemen" WERE supposed to give up their seat to a "lady" and I did have an old-fashioned, Midwestern upbringing but I also like to remember that women ARE equal to men which means they should get paid the same for the same job AND have to stand on the bus if there aren't enough seats.
And the whole elitist gentlemen/lady thing has always irritated the shit out of me. Class snobbery in British literature is amusing but in reality, it's just a bunch of reactionary, snobby bullshit. Manners and civility are important and frequently absent from everyday life, but many aspects of Victorian propriety are best left dead and buried.

Meanwhile, I have to worry about yet another Arch Enemy out to do me harm...

Write your Senator and Congressional Representative

I just did because the Bush Administration's plan to bail out Wall Street is a shitty, shitty idea that will cripple this country worse than any depression. It's designed to bail out financial institutions that got themselves into a shithole because of their own greed and with the cooperation of the Republicans who spearheaded the deregulation of the banking and finacial services industries. The bail out will help the rich and only handicap the average American by burdening this country with horrendous debt. I'm not one for conspiracy theories but it smells like the Republicans know they're screwed in November and they want to hamper the Obama administration with this shit for the next four years...

So, write your two Senators and your Representative. Just Google, "Contact your Senator or Representative".

NOW!

All the Stars are in Lower Queen Anne!

I had a HUGE celebrity sighting last night in Lower Queen Anne/Uptown. I was walking with my friends on our way to a fine meal at Mecca and just as we passed Dicks, who do you think we run into??!?!?!?! THIS asshole:Michael Medved, arch-conservative commentator, movie and media critic, gadfly, and Mercer Island resident was lurking around the back of Dick's Uptown last night...(or maybe he was coming from a screening of something at the Uptown; did they show "The Greatest Story Ever Told" last night?)

I used to kinda like Michael Medved back in the day when he was the funny Jewish movie critic who replaced Siskel & Ebert when they jumped ship from their original PBS show. He also wrote a series of entertaining film books called "The Golden Turkey Awards" about movies so bad that they're almost good. Then, he quickly turned into a tiresome, shrewish old bitch ranting about the liberal evils of Hollywood.

He was never pretty, but it's nice to see he's NOT aging well.

Una disculpa al pueblo de España

Para el noble y orgulloso pueblo de España: El inteligente pueblo de los Estados Unidos de América gustaría pedir disculpas por los últimos, inflamatoria observaciones hechas por nuestro actual Presidente y el candidato conservador a la Presidencia de los Estados Unidos. Esas observaciones generales y la actitud negativa hacia su país multa por nuestro actual administración presidencial no representan las opiniones del promedio de América. Amamos y respetamos su país, su gente, sus tradiciones y su cultura. George W Bush y su administración y John McCain son idiotas y una vergüenza para todos los estadounidenses. Por suerte, el inteligente pueblo de los Estados Unidos prevalezca y elegir al hombre correcto, Barack Obama, nuestro próximo presidente. Una vez más, nuestras disculpas y los mejores deseos.

Gracias,

Miguel Strangeways

Quandry

I received this email today from renowned adult filmmaker Joe Gage...I'm terribly worried and not sure what I should do!?!?!?!?!

Subject: PLEASE VERY URGENT...
To:

Am in hurry writing you this short message and I am sorry I didn't inform you about my traveling. I traveled to Malaysia and i got my self stranded. I am really stranded in Malaysia because I forgot my little bag in the Taxi where my money, passport, documents, cell phone which i have all my contacts and other valuable things were kept on my way to the Hotel am staying, I am facing a hard time here because i have no money on me. I am now owning a hotel bill of $1,400 and they wanted me to pay the bill soon else they will have to hand me over to the Hotel Management, I need this help from you urgently to help me back home, I need you to help me with the hotel bill and i will also need $2,300 to feed and help myself back home so please can you help me with a sum of $3,700 USD to sort out my problems here. I am sending you this e-mail from the city Library, I will appreciate what so ever you can afford to send me for now and I promise to pay back your money as soon as i return home. So please use the details of one of the hotel managers below to transfer the money to me through Western Union money transfer or money gram because that is the only way i could be able to get it fast and leave since he has a valid ID to pick up the money for me from the western union. This is the detail below....

Name: Eric Maxwell
Address: 20B Jalan Loke Yew, Bandar Malaka, Malaysia
Text Question: To whom
Answer: Joe Gage

After you have send the money, email to me the western union money transfer control number or you can attach and forward to me the western union money transfer receipt so that i can pick up the money fast and leave. Right now, i dont have any acess to phone communications because the phone in my hotel room had been disconnected due to too much bills imposed on me, i only have acess to the computer at the library where am sending you this email right now.

Hope to hear from you soon. The embassy here has already promised to give me a covering traveling papers that i will need to have my way back home, all i need right now is the money to settle up the bills and leave.

Thanks and get back to me soon.

Best Regards,

Joe

Cube Wars

While I was gone on my Magical Mystery Tour of Topeka, some co-workers/friends decided to redecorate my cubicle at work. I'm still deciding whether to be irritated or touched but regardless, my revenge will be cruel and merciless...


The Obama picture and the nerd/Stranger cover picture were already up there...my friends added the unicorns. There's about a dozen unicorns all told inhabiting every surface of my cube.

Buh Bye

Conde Nast Portfolio.com is reporting that Microsoft is going to pull those new, lameass ads featuring Jerry Seinfeld and founder Bill Gates...check it out here: http://www.portfolio.com/views/blogs/mixed-media/2008/09/17/microsoft-copping-to-10-million-mistake

I guess I'm not the only one who didn't understand the purpose of those ads. Why would you hire Seinfeld, a comedian who was a hot commodity 10 years ago, and feature your aging and now retired founder to try and rebrand your company and product as something contemporary and vital and current? An ad featuring two men in their 50's, iconic to be sure, but past their date of freshness is not going to jumpstart your image or convince 20somethings that your product is cool and rush out to use it. Those ads were nostalgic in tone; looking backward and not forward.

Also, except for the use of Bill Gates' actual mugshot from his 70's arrest, it wasn't at all funny, only tired and belabored.

UPDATE: Gizmodo is now reporting that this rumor is not true; Microsoft is still going to continue the series of ads. Apparently, they don't want to waste the $10million bucks they spent to make them.
http://gizmodo.com/5051682/microsoft-ads-featuring-bill-gates-and-jerry-seinfeld-not-canceled

What happened next...

Monday, my final day in Topeka, was spent packing and saying goodbye to my friends, and a tearful farewell to the 5 cable equipped televisions in their house. Before leaving town, we drove past the few places we had missed on our previous trips down Memory Lane and I was pleased to see quite a few Obama signs planted on front lawns and not that many McCain signs. I don't think it means anything; my guess is that the Republican National Committee and the McCain campaign doesn't think it very necessary to spend the money on a lot of yard signs in a state that's as solidly red as Kansas. And, I have to mention, the majority of the Obama signs I saw were in a old, arty neighborhood near Washburn University, one of the few liberalish spots in town. I didn't see any Obama signs in the suburban neighborhood I was staying in, though I didn't see any McCain signs either.

I also had to get some pictures of the Fred Phelps Westboro Church anti-gay picketeers out on their daily picket line. If you aren't aware of these evil clowns, you should be; go look them up on Google. My friend even bravely drove me past their compound so I could get a couple shots; she was worried because she heard they had the place covered with hidden cameras and didn't want them harrassing her; they really are looney tunes and her kids have to go to school with some of the kids from that cult. (I've always thought it strange that they don't homeschool their kids, or set up their own church school like so many other culty churches, but they seem to prefer mixing in with the public as much as they can. They really do thrive on publicity.) And I was sadly disappointed to NOT see the grand poobah himself, Fred Phelps, but the man is incredibly old and it's been rumored that he's been slowly dying for years. Still, it had been a long time since I'd seen the old fraud and really wanted a final glimpse of his cadaverian body clad in it's usual armor of skin tight Spandex...

After that, we headed to the airport and my final indignity of my trip; the fuckers at security confiscated my packed bottle of BBQ sauce in my carry-on! I had the option to check my bag, but I'd packed everything in one small bag so I wouldn't have to mess with bag check so I said screw it. My guess is, hundreds of bottles of BBQ sauce end up in the hands of the FTA, and those fuckers probably have a monster bbq party every month or so, or sell it to be repackaged as KC Masterpiece and make a tidy profit...

After I boarded the plane, I noticed that the woman sitting next to me was eating this huge, takeout salad in a plastic container, which pissed me off...there's far more potential for explosive devices or weapons to be hidden in her monster salad than in my little bottle of tangy and delicious BBQ sauce.

This country is SO fucked up.

NOTE: the mediocre photos are by ME. The picket sign says "Thank God for IEDs" (meaning improvised explosive device; Westboro Baptist is also anti-soldier, anti-war, and anti-American as well as anti-gay. They also hate Canada for some reason.) and anti-Phelps protesters spray painted, "God hates the Phelps" on the marquee of the church sign.

More of the story...

Friday night, after I arrived at my hosts' home on the outskirts of Topeka, we chilled and had a delicious homemade spaghetti dinner in between bonding moments with the host's 11 and 7 year old sons, my so-called nephews. Jake, the 11 yr old, wanted me to spend hours watching him play various on-line computer games involving wizards, magic wands and endless quests to find magic amulets, while Josh, the 7 yr old, was under the impression I was some sort of new, stretchy, bouncy fun toy for him to pummel and bruise. Except for a traumatic vomiting incident by the overly excited and overly over-snacked 11 year old and the irritation of having to listen to a room full of overly excited and overly inebriated adult male heterosexuals while they watched a college football game, it was an enjoyable evening.

Saturday was spent driving around and going down various Memory Lanes, much to the chagrin of the 7 year old, ("Are we done going down Memory Lane? Memory Lane is BORING!") I also got to enjoy lunch at my favorite bbq restaurant and had to endure a tour of the busy commercial strip of Topeka and all it's newest chain restaurants; apparently, Topeka now has a branch of everything except The Cheesecake Factory...

Saturday nite, we went to Chili's for dinner, then dumped the kids off at grandma's while the grownups went to a cheap tavern for booze and pool. I had a good time slumming in a dive and vastly enjoyed my "Slippery Nipples" as well as my attempts to annoy the locals by playing Shirley Bassey and Scissor Sisters incessantly on the jukebox. (In my defense, it was a reaction to the non-stop barrage of Bon Jovi and Metallica). It was also enormously entertaining to watch a gaggle of local hootchies put the moves on one of my host's single male friends. He is recently separated from his wife and nervously on the market, but he was encouraged to refrain from sampling the wares of a cadre of barely legal porkettes whose slutty outfits and garishly applied make-up seemed to scream out, "Chlamydia: Come and Get It!"

It was a fun evening.

Sunday was spent lounging around the house and I was introduced to an entire world of Bravo produced entertainment...I'm not sure how I've gone this long in life without the joys of Project Runaway, Top Design, and Tabatha's Salon Takeover. I had at least heard of the first two shows, but the delightful Tabatha was an unknown quantity and let me tell you, it's fucking great! It's a simple premise; a virtual copy of Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares...A bitchy, British hairdresser to the stars, (who I've never heard of, prior to this show), goes around to tacky beauty salons and gives them a makeover which basically consists of giving everyone involved a good, swift, well-deserved kick in the arse. The best episode I saw, was one where she went to this gawdawful, strip-mall salon on Long Island populated by a bunch of rejects from a Sopranoes extras casting call, or perhaps, a traveling carnival. There was a delicious amount of blue eyeshadow AND blue language, not to mention the fact that all the hairdressers themselves had horrible hairdos, which Tabatha also noticed and in order to teach them how to be classy, she took them all to a posh, high-end salon in Manhattan and gave them all make-overs. For the most part, they all still looked pretty trashy, but at least in was a fresh, up-to-date kind of trashy instead of the tired 80's looks they'd been sporting before. And, what I really appreciated about this show, was that it did NOT have a happy ending...when Tabatha came back for her 6 week check-up, the deadbeat owners were no where to be found and hadn't stuck to any of the improvements and the poor hairdressers were upset that things had gone back to the way they were before Tabatha showed up...but at least they had cute new hair-dos and personally, off camera, I bet Tabatha advised them to jump ship and find themselves a better salon to work in...

More to come.

Journey into Darkness

I'm back from my 4 day trip to Kansas and would like to say I survived with both my mental and physical health intact, but I do feel a little groggy and hungover. I didn't really drink very much so I'm blaming my frazzled state on an excess consumption of chain restaurant food, cigarettes, hours and hours of Bravo watching, the excessive humidity and the annoyances of airports and air travel in general...I didn't post anything while I was ON my trip, so here's a rough synopsis of how it went, in diary form:

Friday, the 12th: Got up at the ungodly hour of 3:15 in the morning in order to catch a bus to the airport...I missed my bus by about 30 seconds, so I had to call a cab to get downtown to catch the 194 to the airport. I made it, with about 1 minute to spare and thoroughly do not enjoy my journey which consists largely of drunk, smelly people on their way home after a night of binge drinking and drugs in the alleyways of downtown Seattle. There is a smattering of airport bound travellers and a couple airport workers, but for the most part, it's a bunch of drunks and the indigent. The bus smells like a cheap shoe that a chronic alcoholic has repeatedly vomited, shat and pissed upon. But, I have a bus pass and it's free, so who am I to complain?

I get to the airport, breeze through security and onto the plane...about a half hour in to the flight, I'm jonesing for a smoke, so I pop some nicotine gum into my mouth, kindly supplied by a friend of mine. Unfortunately, I've never tried nicotine gum before and I seem to have a reaction to it; my throat starts closing up and I feel like throwing up. I quickly spit it out and decide it was probably dumb to use nicotine gum only 45 minutes after chain smoking 4 cigarettes outside the terminal...

I have to change planes in Denver and fortunately, the kind souls in the Colorado state legislature put in a clause in their indoor smoking ban/law that provides for a smoking lounge in the airport...it's attached to a tacky airport bar/restaurant and you're required to buy something to sit in there, but I don't begrudge them $2.50
for a Pepsi and a chance to chain smoke in between flights. I grab an overpriced turkey/cranberry sandwich, buy a new book and catch my flight to KC.

I'm met at the gate by my gracious hosts, my longtime friend Kelly and her boyfriend Aaron and quickly readapt to the torpid humidity of the Midwest...it's about 70 degrees with 99% humidity and gray and rainy when I land. The irony of Seattle having nicer (meaning warmer, sunnier and drier) weather than the Midwest, is not lost on me...

Oh, and the Seattle airport gets an A for their food/retail, (Love the Border's Bookstore) and Denver gets a C for a rotten selection of food options but a decent bookstore, and Kansas City gets an F for very rotten selection of food and NO bookstores.

More to come.

Photo by ME, all rights reserved.